Models for Disaster


While I was cruising Michaels the other day I came across this product.  I did not have the required discipline as a child to build models, even the ones that come in easy to assemble kits.  I had a childhood friend, Eugene, who had the attention span, and care to build models.  He had quite a collection!

Now…about this boat.  I am going to guess that kids will only think of Leo Dicaprio and Kate Winslett boning in the back of a car when they think of  the Titanic.  Those of us with a sense for history will remember it a little differently.  I can only speak for myself, but if I see a model of that boat, I can only think of the hundreds of people who froze to death in the North Atlantic.  It does not matter how pretty the boat was, it now resides at the bottom of the sea because of human error.  The model iceberg must be sold separately.

However, since they commissioned a Titanic Model Kit, I will hold out for the rest of this series:


Achille Lauro

This model will come with miniature terrorists toting Autmatic Weapons.  So as not to be outdone by other models in the series, this boat even comes wth its very own man in wheel chair being pushed oveboard.  Hard to believe some of these guys escaped capture.

RMS Lusitania

RMS Lusitania

Who needs an iceberg?  With German U-boats competing for an end of the month Sunken Ship Contest, this boat did not stand a chance.  What better way to galvanize even more opposition to your war plans then to sink a passenger ship.  Well, whether it carried supplies for the enemy is another debate for another time.  This model comes with its own torpedo sized hole in its hull.


Exxon Valdez

It took a drunk Oil Tanker Skipper to put Valdez, Alaska on the map.  Children may have difficulty assembling the model due to the pieces being soaked in Alaska Crude.  It is recommended that the completed model be placed on a tray, or similar item to collect the oil that will continue to seep from the model.  Oil covered animals sold separately.

Achille Lauro photo source

Lusitania photo source

Exxon Valdez photo source


4 thoughts on “Models for Disaster

  1. The Valdez idea reminds me of a Charles Addams cartoon in the New Yorker in the fifties. All of the kids are playing with their sailboats in the pond in Central Park, except for Pugsley. Accompanied by an approving Uncle Fester, he is pushing a distressed oil tanker with a guide-stick, as the tanker oozes an oil slick into the pond.

  2. I love the concept. Where do I pick up an Achille Lauro?

    I’d like to point out that there was never any proof that Joseph Hazelwood was drunk or even directly responsible for the Exxon Valdez incident. The only court decision rendered against him was a misdemeanor due to his being the captain of the ship at the time that it crashed (pretty hard to fight that charge).

    The whole trial, in my opinion, was an attempt to make it seem as if this was an individual person’s fault and not a time-bomb event caused by the entire practice of shipping Alaskan crude by sea.

  3. I took a semester class on Environmental Oceanography where we studied the Valdez extensively (not too long after it happened). Regardless of how it happened it was a sad thing to learn about the specifics of just how much damage it caused…as well as talking to native Alaskans who witnessed it firsthand.

    Yeah, I don’t think the guy was drunk either. He was definitely stoned and crashed the boat when he dropped a lit joint into his lap. 😀

  4. Mr. Nice should trust our fine petroleum corporations. If they need a scapegoat, it’s for good reasons.

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