“Now pinch hitting for the Carson Park Ranger…Sally Tapperass!”

A Quick note:  Since I am only pinch hitting for the Departed Carson Park Ranger, I am not in any way obligated to fire a zinger or two at Fred and Rose.  To quote fellow blogger Tad, “Peace be with them.”

Alright.  I was cruising WINCO today when I came across this gem.  A Pizza Lunchable.  At first glance I was confused because I could not believe people, or kids would eat mini pizzas on a cracker.  I soon discover that the mini pizza comes with a mini pizza crust!

It is pizza.  Yes.  However it is cold pizza.  I can only speak for myself, but cold pizza reminds me of waking up with a bad hangover, and only having the ability to get cold pizza out of the fridge to eat it as is.  Well, I guess your kids will have to learn the value of cold pizza at some point.  Why not now?

I am surprised that this Lunchable did not come with a mini six pack of beer to be consumed prior to the cold pizza.  All that is missing from the design of the box is the picture of a Stereo-typical Pizza Guru smiling with that grin of pomposity.

Who says that the creators of Play-Doh toy foods can’t inspire the manufacturers of real food?


8 thoughts on ““Now pinch hitting for the Carson Park Ranger…Sally Tapperass!”

  1. I think my Italian ancestors are swearing in their graves! Then again, about 98% of all pizza that most folks eat isn’t real pizza in my book. 😉

  2. For craps sake…how hard can it POSSIBLY be to pack a freaking lunch?! Here child…here are crackers and salami…or peanut butter…or cheese….or tuna….Take some carrots and a few cookies. It will take the child 15 minutes to peel all the plastic crap from that package and a million years for it to even consider decomposing. Lazy people…..really lazy.

  3. I am not sure why you are commenting badly about this type of food since it is so typical of the food you loved as a child. The crappier the better. At least its not Crave cat food.

  4. As an avid eater of many types of cat and dog food as a young lad (much to my mothers chagrin), I can say with confidence that Crave not only tastes better than this baleful excuse for pizza, but is probably better for you as well. 😛

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