Four Reasons I just love the Cell Phone…

You probably have one, and you may even wonder how you ever lived without one.  The cell phone continues to evolve, and as it integrates into more parts of our everyday life we become more reliant on it.  I have made four observations about what the cell phone has done to us as a society that I love with all of my heart.  These reasons may be a little out of the box, but I love them all the same.  So no, I will not be talking about app.’s or the short hand typists’ guide to texting.

You never have to look like you are all alone…ever again.

I see these people all of the time.  There they are walking alone, or sitting by themselves in some waiting room.  I have no problem being someplace all by myself, and surrounded by strangers.  I am a people watcher, and the more suspicious and guilt ridden the crowd is, the more I smile.  However, for some this isolation is equivalent to an itch just out of reach.  You have no choice, but to find a way to scratch it.

Enter the cell phone.  Yes.  There seems to always be somebody there to talk to you while you wait.  Or if you have to endure shopping at a store all alone, you can chat away with a willing listener.  Lately people are just texting, or working some app on their phone, but talkers are still quite prevalent.  My only question is… who has time to keep you company for the entire time you are in a waiting room, or shopping for housewares?  I know my friends have a life, and would not be happy of I was only half involved in a conversation.  Anyway, the cell phone prevents you from really being alone, and the discomfort many of you may have with that.

Ignoring and Snubbing people becomes an absolute breeze.

Mr. Pat and I were walking to his car in a parking lot one afternoon, and this lady driving a large truck parked in the space next to the driver’s side.  She literally parked with six inches of the driver’s side door.  As she exited her truck, she was talking on her phone.  As she saw Pat and I standing there, we tried to explain to her that her truck was too close.  Without stopping her conversation, she looked at the two vehicles with a facial expression of consternation.  As if we were morons for parking there in the first place.  She kept talking as she got back in here truck and started the pains taking process of trying to create more space between the two vehicles.  On her seventh rapid attempt to back out and reposition her truck, Pat darted into his side of the car just before she moved her truck back in.  As we backed out, we saw her walk away from her truck still chatting on the phone.  She never said one word to us.  I almost felt sorry that Pat and I were raised right.  I hate to say it, but that lady and her phone have given me little pause to start treating people like crap.  I have been pretty bad lately.  I love the serial killer stare I have been giving people who dare smile at me.

It is all good though.  People can just whip out there cell phones for instant gratification from somebody on the other end.

Besides, nothing gets you out of unwanted face to face contact better than the cell phone.  It does not have to ring.  You can pretend it is on vibrate, and simply walk away from the person you no longer want to see in front of you.  I have yet to use this tactic.  However, I have had it used on me.  If that person who did that to me is reading this and is wondering why we have not spoke in almost three months: I got your message the first time, and I am a fast learner.

Whether you like it or not, you get to listen to the Public “Private” Conversation.

So there I was in Target.  I was in the check out line behind a woman chatting on her cell phone.  I was only one of several people in line, and adjacent to this woman.  She was talking in her “outside voice” to somebody about a friend who was sure to get a divorce.  I thought she was convincing as a marriage counselor as she aired one sultry detail after another.  Affairs, stolen credit cards, and guns stored under certain pieces of furniture.

So here is my plan.  Next time I get in this situation, I will call my friend Pancake, and he and I will start in on a conversation in my “outside voice”.  Oh we will talk about painful urination and yellow discharge.  We will discuss creams that only make the red bumps “down there” turn brighter red and itch more.  He loves this idea, and promises to call me if he is confronted with the same.  Fight fire with fire I say.

Relationships can start to have an addition of undue stress.

Who called you?  What was that text you got?  Why did you not answer your phone?  Why no response to my text?  Call logs.  Contact lists.  Tiger Woods.  Do yourself a favor, and toss the phone in the bay. (Or whatever body of water you are near)


2 thoughts on “Four Reasons I just love the Cell Phone…

  1. Very insightful post. Although a computer tech and former hardcore Nintendo geek…I’ve become something of a luddite as I get older. Perhaps it was working on so many computers and their peripherals that I have become so unattached to all the latest and greatest techno toys. And spending a few years doing phone tech support (worst job ever – and this is coming from a guy who used to wash dishes and clean toilets) I’m gradually becoming used to having longer conversations on the phone. But I still manage to “forget” to turn it on for a day or two every now and then. 😉

    I like the idea of ignoring people in social situations because you’re on the phone, but it can give people the wrong idea sometimes. A few years ago I was in a parking lot on a trip to visit a friend, and this incredibly gorgeous woman suddenly started walking towards me. She made eye contact and greeted me with a hearty “Hello!” which I returned…but then her brow and face contorted repugnantly at me…and it was then that I saw the very tiny mobile phone in her hand. I still say it was my animal magnetism and she just couldn’t face facts…but alas she sent a few more psychic darts my way and I continued my trip red faced with embarrassment.

    So now when I see hot women with cell phones, I tell them all to go **** themselves to save myself any future turmoil of the hormonal variety. 😛

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